vantablack
This text field serve as a short sort of reflection confession, it is public but will most likely remain unread at the same time.
I am a casual pleb with loopitis, spending hours on that one sound element only to ruin it and lose interest.
I read about, study and talk about instruments more than I actually use them.
Sometimes I rearrange the modular and meditate on each configuration before patching and using it for days and even a week.
I know keeping regret is unhelpful yet I keep regretting giving up playing the violin.
I played for at least 10 years and I had a wonderful teacher who let me explore different ways to play and guided me in exploring different genres where a violin could be viable. She let me play in ensemble and an orchestra and didn’t downplay the fact that I didn’t really enjoy playing classical and she noticed that I had a hard time getting comfortable in the orchestral setting.
She arranged for me to meet and play folk with some musicians from Västergötlands spelmanslag which had a profound impact. Getting to learn about and play Folk were like finding out about Nine Inch Nails, Skinny Puppy and Ministry after “only” having Kraftwerk, Depeche Mode, and The Sex Pistols as references.
Hursomhelst, I had such luck and got the privilege to learn and express myself through that instrument and I feel sadness about letting that skill go to waste, and shame that I didn’t value and honor those who spent time out of their lives on me, passing on the playing techniques and songs passed down by ear.
Her name is Gerda and were absolutely fabulous. Whenever there were a dresscode I got allowed to wear my The Prodigy tshirt underneath, even when playing duett for the Queen Silvia of Sweden.