knock knock
Whoâs there?
1 Like
Sorry 
3 Likes
Group leader at the plastic surgery anonymous meeting
âWell, hello everyoneâŚI see a lot of new faces todayâ
6 Likes
What did the inflatable headteacher of the inflatable school say to the inflatable boy when he took a drawing pin into school?
âYouâve let me down, youâve let the school down and youâve let yourself downâŚâ
9 Likes
Inflatable boy responds: You have blown this whole thing out of proportion.
4 Likes
They donât build them like they used to. After all these years the swimming pool on the Titanic is still filled with waterâŚ
5 Likes
One cannibal to another:
Man I really hate my mother in law.
Other cannibal:
Well why donât you just have some potato salad then?
2 Likes
My favourite things in life are eating family and not using commas.
13 Likes
The âI blew a speaker in my carâ bit by Doug Stanhope
1 Like
Where does the king keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
8 Likes
First time I saw a universal remote control, I thought well, this changes everything.
22 Likes
Man-âDoctor doctor, I think Iâve got a lettuce poking out of my arse, is that bad?â
Doctor-âI donât know, it could be nothing or it could be just the tip of the icebergâŚâ
7 Likes
My wife told me I couldnât make a car out of spaghettiâŚ
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
6 Likes
Whatâs the most difficult dessert to make?
A Palavalova.
I made that up in case you couldnât tell
3 Likes
gonorrhea would have been a good name for a diarrhea medicine.
9 Likes
What do you call a homeless snail?
A slug.
2 Likes
Man: Doctor, I have a strawberry growing out of my arse.
Doctor: Youâll be wanting some cream for that.
11 Likes
Donât wash or buy socks on Sunday. Itâs sock religious
6 Likes