Heard this on a podcast, either The Bugle or The Gargle (excellent comedy podcasts that don’t normally do one liners):
Why did he put a rabbit on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like Hare’s…
Taxi for one please!
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Two parrots sat on a perch.
One says, “Can you smell fish?”
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Man walks into a dentists and says “you’ve got to help me - I think I’m a moth”
Dentist says "I think you need a psychiatrist.
Man replies “I know, but your light was on”
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Roman numerals. What are they good IV?
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What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A Colli-flower
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LeAnn Rimes. No, it doesn’t.
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Atom 1: “Hey, I think I just lost an electron.”
Atom 2: “Are you sure?”
Atom 1: “I’m positive.”
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A guy in the Olympic Park approaches another guy sitting alone.
Guy 1: Are you a Pole Vaulter?
Guy 2: No, I’m German. How did you know my name vas Valter?
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Golf clap for the Beeb
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Where do the Smashing Pumpkins fit in with your favorite bands from the 90’s?
I’d say Better than Ezra, but Less than Jake.
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There are 10 types of people in the world: one who understands hexadecimal, and the other F.
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They were so much a part of the zeitgeist that I never needed to really get into them.
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I cannot tell a lie, I was actually a big smashing pumpkins fan.
That song mayonnaise was my jam, if your jam can be a depressing quiet melodic song that turns into a huge cacophony of overdriven guitars while maintaining melancholic dissonance throughout.
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Well I like big butts.
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I signed up for a Hexadecimal 101 course, but it turns out it was level 257
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you have a lot of character issues.
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Why are TCP jokes always funnier than UDP jokes? Because with UDP you never know if anyone got it.
(Ok, I’ll stop now)
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